Yet as the hours or days go by, and our attempts at immediate resolution fail, over and over, we become more angry, more frustrated and anxiety ridden. We may become bitter, saying to ourselves "why me?" or "why is this so hard to figure out?".
Today, I woke up at the crack of dawn, to travel to a nature trail in Atlantic Beach. It was recommended to me by friend as a good photography spot, especially since the trail is lined with Live Oaks, one of my favorite trees. I figured if I arrived early enough, i might get some great shots of the dissipating fog with the early morning sunlight filtering in through the canopy of these fantastical trees.
Although when I arrived, there was no illuminating light, the sky was still dreary and gray from the rising blanket of fog which seemed to dim the rising sun . The scene, was beautiful, I just needed that light. As I walked the trail, I snapped a few photos which were quite dissapointing. I mean, here are these huge, gorgeous Live Oak trees on either side of me, towering above me and entwining with each other making a fairy-tale like archway enticing you to keep moving down the path. But, there was no good light.
I tried using some off-camera flash techniques, to similate the kind of light I so desperately wanted. I tried using different angels, different light settings on my flash. I tried diffusing the light...nope. Wasn't going to happen. You can not imagine how frustrating it was for me. I tried to force what I hoped would naturally be there, when I wanted it to be there.
I gave up and walked the mile back to where I had parked. Frustrated, and questioning myself as to WHY I could not make this happen, I trudged along the trail. When I arrived back at my car, a thought occurred to me. I had made the half hour drive to see this place and marvel at its beauty, yet I did not marvel. I just wanted that shot. I didn't take five minutes to stand amongst these majestic trees, to look up, do a little 360 turn, to see the beauty that surrounded me. So I started back on the trail for the second time, with no intentions of getting that shot of the Live Oaks that I was so dead set on getting earlier.
The trail actually ends at Hoop Pole creek. It's a short little creek which meets up with the Atlantic Sound. The fog was clearing and the peeking sun cast a golden glow on the marsh grasses, and turned the water just as blue as could be. There were what seemed like dozens of pelicans inhabiting this area, flying gracefully overhead then taking a nose dive into the water to catch their breakfast.
I love pelicans, and I love watching them. But at the beach, pelican sightings are more like a "fly by". Here, I was in the constant company of these wonderful birds. I sat and watched them, snapping a few photos here and there, for at least two hours. It was just an amazing feeling to be out there, alone, with the birds, being their only human audience to this breakfast diving fest.
I soon realized how much time had passed and bid farewell to the pelicans. I grabbed my bag and headed back down the trail. About five minutes into my walk back, (cue the angels singing and harps playing now!)...there, in front of me, was the light! I was not looking for it, nor hoping for it. No I was just thinking about what a great time I had watching the pelicans. It may not have been one hundred percent the light I had imagined for the shot of the oaks, but it was there and it beamed down on just the right spots and the view was breath-taking.
I pulled my camera out of my bag, slowly and quietly, because a part of me thought "shhh, you'll scare the light away!" Needless to say, I got a great shot. I was happy, and felt fulfilled.
I think in life, we look for the light, and we want what we want right now. We ask for guidance from our higher power and start watching the clock. But if we aren't willing to wait for God, the Universe, our higher self...or whatever higher power we believe in, to give us or show us the answers, then we try to force an outcome of something that is not ready to be revealed to us yet, for whatever reasons. It's a waste of time. We are just causing ourselves even more frustration, even more grief, more anxiety, and possibly digging an even bigger hole for ourselves.
We have to trust in the fact, that answers will come in their own true time, not when we demand them. Enlightenment does not punch a time clock, even though we all wish it would for us!
Maybe the reason for us not getting direction, guidance and answers right away, is that we grow in the waiting period. We can become stronger, more resiliant. Who knows. Maybe we are made to wait, to appreciate- to sit back and take in everything about our lives that is beautiful and wonderful in order to come back refreshed, to our current worry-some or upsetting situation, with new vibes, new thought processes, renewed spirits. Maybe eyes have to be wide open to what we DO have to be happy and thankful for, before we can ever expect guidance/resolution to alleviate the bad stuff.
No comments:
Post a Comment