In A Stranger, There is Wisdom. "For the Love"

I am starting to truly believe, that some of the most important and influential people you will meet in your lifetime, are total strangers. I have met total strangers in passing here in North Carolina who have given me insights and wisdom, just in casual conversation, that have changed my life, and my thoughts.  These North Carolinians just seem to be born with poetic wisdom and passionate insights on life and love.

Honestly, I have probably received some of the same wisdom, some of the same advice, or insights from friends and family members over the years, in different words of course. But maybe..just maybe, we listen a little harder when the words are coming from a total stranger.
 Maybe in order to really listen and learn, we have to be out of our comfort zone, out of our element. At least i'm finding that this is true for me.

During a winter walk on the shores of Atlantic Beach recently, I saw a man in the distance sitting on the sand, scooping up handfuls of broken shells and placing them into a bag.

From a distance, the mans surfer-like, shoulder length hair, made me assume he was a young man. But as I got closer I was able to see his weather-worn face, deep lines under a dark tan, that of a man who was maybe in his early fifties.

I approached him and asked him what he was going to do with the broken shells. He replied proudly, "I am a surf artist. Going to use these for my next piece."

I looked at him puzzled and asked what surf art is.

"Hard to explain", he started. "I use elements of the sea and land to create art that reflects my love of surfing and my love of the coast."

I asked the man if he had any of his works "online" that I could view. He replied that he did not because he does not sell his art.

"What? What you do sounds great! Why would you not sell your work?" I asked.

The man looked down at the sand and smiled as if he were experiencing a wonderful memory. He explained that each piece of art that he creates, represents the emotions, the feelings he was experiencing in his life at the time of the creation, thus the piece becomes personal, a memory of sorts.

"I have my day job", he said as he laughed. "This....this I do for the love...love of surfing, love of the coast. I want it to be always, about the love, not the money".

I found this man fascinating and I talked to him about his surfing experiences in his younger years for quite some time. Before we parted, he told me he did have one piece on exhibit at a local surf shop. "I traded it for a surf board!" He said proudly.

I was a bit confused when I left. Why would he not be interested in selling his art? I mean, I get it, sort of..but why not make a few bucks from your talents? My daughter and I drove away and decided to find the surf shop where his art piece was on display.

Once there, the man at the counter knew what we were talking about right away. He led us to the top level of the shop, and proudly presented the "surf art". Can I paint a picture with words to describe the beauty of the piece? No. He was right, very hard to explain. But it was beautiful..a combination of sorts, representing earth and sea--A real tree trunk, and a wooden surfboard consisting of two different types of wood, 100 percent made by hand.

And the plaque this "surf artist" embedded into his piece, summed it up as he did for me earlier that day "For The Love of Surfing".

A few days later I met a small business owner who was in line behind me at a local coffee shop. There was something on the TV at the shop, concerning small businesses, and we were both watching it as we waited.

I heard the man say "It's rough", in response to the reporter on the TV. I turned and asked if he was a small business owner.

"I am!" he said as he stood tall and beamed a proud smile. "But it is rough, times are tough, people aren't buying like they used too".

I agreed with him and revealed to him that I had moved my photography business from Michigan to North Carolina and that I was a bit worried, as I had left a pretty large clientelle-base behind in Michigan.

"Well it's obvious that we small business owners do it for the love of what we do, not the money", he laughed. "Don't worry ma'am, it'll come".

He must have noticed the worried look on my face. He put his hand on my shoulder and said "Remember when you first started, it was about the love for what you do, photography right?"

"Yes?" I replied.

"Love of what you do, is where it starts..and if you let the "money" aspect over-rule the "love" aspect, you'll fail. So keep that love, the rest will follow."

Surf art man, and small business owner, gave me some very valuable advice, and at a time that I really needed it. Now surf art man may not be the same as small business owner in that he does not make his living by making his art a business. Surf art man, did not want to risk his love, by coupling it with money. Small business owner took that risk, but is very careful to always keeps his "love" in check. Regardless.. both of these men reminded me of why I picked up a camera in the first place...for the love, love of people, love of emotion, love of mystery, all from a camera lens, frozen in time.

Yes it is how I make my living, but the frenzy to make money, and the anxiety of worrying about this and that, CAN AND WILL "kill" the love, and without the love, you have no foundation.  You will fail.

Note to self: In whatever you do, if the "love" comes first, the rest will follow in its own due time, and in its own way.

When Looking for the Light...

Have you ever noticed how when you have a problem, dilemma, an urgency, crisis...whether money related, a relationship issue, a major decision we must make, how we MUST have the answers right away, right now! We pray about it, meditate on it, search out the opinions of others. We angst over it. We are a "right now" society. We want immediate resolution to ease our minds and hearts.

Yet as the hours or days go by, and our attempts at immediate resolution fail, over and over, we become more angry, more frustrated and anxiety ridden. We may become bitter, saying to ourselves "why me?" or "why is this so hard to figure out?".

Today, I woke up at the crack of dawn, to travel to a nature trail in Atlantic Beach. It was recommended to me by friend as a good photography spot, especially since the trail is lined with Live Oaks, one of my favorite trees. I figured if I arrived early enough, i might get some great shots of the dissipating fog with the early morning sunlight filtering in through the canopy of these fantastical trees.

Although when I arrived, there was no illuminating light, the sky was still dreary and gray from the rising blanket of fog which seemed to dim the rising sun . The scene, was beautiful, I just needed that light. As I walked the trail, I snapped a few photos which were quite dissapointing. I mean, here are these huge, gorgeous Live Oak trees on either side of me, towering above me and entwining with each other making a fairy-tale like archway enticing you to keep moving down the path. But, there was no good light.

I tried using some off-camera flash techniques, to similate the kind of light I so desperately wanted. I tried using different angels, different light settings on my flash. I tried diffusing the light...nope. Wasn't going to happen. You can not imagine how frustrating it was for me. I tried to force what I hoped would naturally be there, when I wanted it to be there.

I gave up and walked the mile back to where I had parked. Frustrated, and questioning myself as to WHY I could not make this happen, I trudged along the trail. When I arrived back at my car, a thought occurred to me. I had made the half hour drive to see this place and marvel at its beauty, yet I did not marvel. I just wanted that shot. I didn't take five minutes to stand amongst these majestic trees, to look up, do a little 360 turn, to see the beauty that surrounded me. So I started back on the trail for the second time, with no intentions of getting that shot of the Live Oaks that I was so dead set on getting earlier.

The trail actually ends at Hoop Pole creek. It's a short little creek which meets up with the Atlantic Sound. The fog was clearing and the peeking sun cast a golden glow on the marsh grasses, and turned the water just as blue as could be. There were what seemed like dozens of pelicans inhabiting this area, flying gracefully overhead then taking a nose dive into the water to catch their breakfast.

I love pelicans, and I love watching them. But at the beach, pelican sightings are more like a "fly by". Here, I was in the constant company of these wonderful birds. I sat and watched them, snapping a few photos here and there, for at least two hours. It was just an amazing feeling to be out there, alone, with the birds, being their only human audience to this breakfast diving fest.

I soon realized how much time had passed and bid farewell to the pelicans. I grabbed my bag and headed back down the trail. About five minutes into my walk back, (cue the angels singing and harps playing now!)...there, in front of me, was the light! I was not looking for it, nor hoping for it. No I was just thinking about what a great time I had watching the pelicans. It may not have been one hundred percent the light I had imagined for the shot of the oaks, but it was there and it beamed down on just the right spots and the view was breath-taking.

I pulled my camera out of my bag, slowly and quietly, because a part of me thought "shhh, you'll scare the light away!"  Needless to say, I got a great shot. I was happy, and felt fulfilled. 

I think in life, we look for the light, and we want what we want right now. We ask for guidance from our higher power and start watching the clock. But if we aren't willing to wait for God, the Universe, our higher self...or whatever higher power we believe in, to give us or show us the answers, then we try to force an outcome of something that is not ready to be revealed to us yet, for whatever reasons. It's a waste of time. We are just causing ourselves even more frustration, even more grief, more anxiety, and possibly digging an even bigger hole for ourselves.

We have to trust in the fact, that answers will come in their own true time, not when we demand them. Enlightenment does not punch a time clock, even though we all wish it would for us!

 Maybe the reason for us not getting direction, guidance and answers right away,  is that we grow in the waiting period. We can become stronger, more resiliant. Who knows. Maybe we are made to wait, to appreciate- to sit back and take in everything about our lives that is beautiful and wonderful in order to come back refreshed, to our current worry-some or upsetting situation, with new vibes, new thought processes, renewed spirits. Maybe eyes have to be wide open to what we DO have to be happy and thankful for, before  we can ever expect guidance/resolution to alleviate the bad stuff.

On The Cycle of Life

A new friend here in North Carolina, relayed these words to me "As we all get older, the cycle of life becomes more present in our lives."

We can all agree with that. At first thought, my response would be, why. I mean, of course people get old and die, that is a given. But what about the senseless deaths, the accidents, the illnesses that claim people before their supposed time? All of a sudden we are saying "Oh my God, seems like everyone is dying !". Well, guess what, they always were, all around us, loss, everyday, from the time we are born to the time we die.For me, it was in my thirties. Just seemed like people I knew, family members and friends, were being plucked from the earth.

It seems to me, that right around the time we are maturing in our adulthood enough to finally truly, and I mean TRULY appreciate life, our family and friends etc., is right around the time that cycle of life awareness hits us. . Our egos and selfishness of our youth fade somewhat into the past, and thoughts from our younger years that we truly are THE center of the universe, are replaced by, "hey, it's not just about me".

Then BAM, loved ones die, good friends are struck will illnesses that no one would have expected at "their age". People who have touched our hearts, loose their lives due to icy, snowy roads. Makes no sense right?

Maybe, just maybe, what comes out of it are reminders of our realizations about life, love and caring for others, be it family, friends, or people you barely know. And a new realization that everyone, no matter how big of small, how famous or infamous, whether a fast food worker or a doctor, makes a difference in this world. And through six degrees of separation, what we do, say, exhibit in our behaviors, what we care about, what we confess, what we state to the world, affects many.

So if the cycle of life becomes more apparent and present to us as we age, both physically and mentally, I guess I choose to believe loss, is a reminder of our earlier realization...that we are all one voice, one entity, we are all important in this world, and we should hold each other dear. Slow down a minute, hug your kiddos, make that call you have been meaning to make, say those words you have been meaning to say, visit that relative you haven't seen in years, grant forgiveness to that person, make that apology.

Rejoice a little more often, love a little bit more deeply, give a little less selflessly. That is what death teaches us.

Thoughts on Favorite Childhood Vacation Memories

Most of us can remember that one place we vacationed at as children, that we will never forget. Maybe it was the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Niagra Falls..and to many it was Disneyland, or Disneyworld.

Yes Disneyworld was a place we visited when I was a child. It was thrilling, exciting, noisy, colorful and mind-blowing at that age, I believe I was 8 years old. But most people who know me well, know that my fondest memories come from Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

Back then, the Outer Banks of North Carolina, were not as commercialized and touristy, as it is today. It was quiet magic, a place where a kid could role play on the beach that they were truly a mermaid who had emerged out of the waters with legs, thus dancing and jumping about...without many people watching you make a fool out of yourself. It was a place where a kid could lay belly down on the sands while watching the hermit crabs play peek-a-boo with you, by popping in and out of their little sand holes.

It was quiet, it was beautiful...a place to daydream while watching the enigma of beautiful sunrises and sunsets, none ever the same, every single night. The sound of the waves lapping the golden sands only contributed to the magic, making daydreams more vivid. It was an island of dreams. During my visits at Hatteras, I have been a mermaid, a pirate, a lost princess looking for her knight in armor, a sword fighter, and a dolphin king. It was my Narnia.

It was also a place where we, were family. My mother's former husband, magically turned into a father during our vacations there and my sister and brother and I, all magically got along. But most of all, mom smiled the brightest while in Hatteras.

My grandparents visited Hatteras, when my mother and my aunt were children. My mother continued the tradition by introducing my sister and I to Hatteras as children. I brought it full circle when I brought my own children to see the Hatteras Lighthouse this last August, just before (and probably the deciding event) I moved to North Carolina.The Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, always symbolized everything I loved about North Carolina, and my sister and I grew up in a house where little reminders of Hatteras where everywhere in the decor.

 My eyes swelled up with tears as stood at the base of this iconic symbol from my childhood, and I said hello to an old friend. I watched my children run to the lighthouse with eyes full of wonder and amazement.
I snapped a photo of my children at the top of the lighthouse that day and thought....it's been in our blood for generations, North Carolina. And after that August of 2011 vacation to North Carolina, I knew it was in my children's blood as well.

 Now, a new generation is born. A generation of children who love North Carolina, and grandchildren who love North Carolina. The only difference is....they live here now.

"Just Do It", Kite Surfers at the Point, Emerald Isle

Yesterday's walk was again, at the Point, Emerald Isle. This has become one of my favorite walking spots for many reasons. There are not usually many people on the beach, love that. The water just seems to be much more blue at the Point...beautiful, and right before the beach curves into the channel that leads to the sound, waters become calm and serene and it just makes me feel like i'm at a blue lagoon!

Sometimes you can literally walk out to sandbars and be surrounded by the waters. Sometimes the ocean paves little creeks and waterways into the sands. Often you see dolphin playing and always are there seagulls and pelicans flying overhead.

Yesterday as I was nearing the end of the island, the "point" of the point, I saw two large kites flying in the air off in the distance. I had my camera in hand and thought, "hey, ill walk over there and take pictures of the kites against the crystal blue skies!". As I got closer though, I realized the kites were attached to surfers. There were two men, kite surfing!

It was about an eight minute walk to get close enough to the kite surfers to get some descent photos. By time I was there, one of the men had already come to shore. But the other was still out on the water, skimming the surface, being temporarily pulled from the waters up into the air by the kite, it was an awesome site!

I wanted to kite surf! But of course my second thought after that was one that was fear-based, "what if the wind pulled me way out onto the ocean, or picked me up really high into the sky?". Silly thoughts huh? I, like others, have so many things I want to try, but fear is always standing in the way.

After the second man came into shore, I approached one of the surfers. He looked older, maybe late fifties, and the other man looked maybe to be his adult son.

"That was amazing", I said. "Hope you don't mind I took some photos".

"Oh no, I was kinda hoping you would", he said as he put away his gear.

"How did you learn to do that? Don't you worry about being swept away by the wind?" I asked.

"Aw well, you get a feel for the kite, you get a feel for the wind, and you just do it", he said with a smile.

"Yeah Kelly, just do it", I thought to myself as I walked away. I mean, the guy was obviously at least 20 years older than me and he was out there doing it, why couldn't i? Haha!. I like his "Nike" attitude...Just DO It.

I seem to be learning a lot about facing fears here. I think you can't really LIVE life without pushing the limits a bit, whether by engaging in kite surfing, or writing that novel you've been meaning to write, or getting that degree you have always wanted. Put the fears aside, and...JUST DO IT!

Dolphins, the "Humans" of the Sea

Of course I knew I would experience dolphin sightings when I moved here on the North Carolina Coast. I was not, however, prepared for how often I would see these lovely creatures.

The first time I caught a glimpse of a dolphin, was while standing at the end of the Bogue Pier on Emerald Isle. The creature was pretty far out, but I could see it weaving in and out of the water, and I was instantly mesmerized. I thought I was pretty lucky that day.

But it soon became apparent, that dolphin sightings would become a weekly joy for me. I walk the shores, at different locations, almost every day. I would say at least half of the time, I am accompanied on my walk, by dolphins, and/or I accompany them on their "swims". The frustrating thing being, when I would bring my camera and zoom lens, I would never see any dolphins, and on days that I would not bring my camera, they would be there.

On one particular day in December, i spotted two dolphins swimming off the shores of Emerald Isle. They were slow swimming that day, so I followed them down the shore. I instinctively felt that if I followed them, they would eventually come closer into shallow waters.

I was right. Half way to the Point of Emerald Isle, at least four of these dolphins started to ride the waves, bringing them closer to shore. Now I don't know if you have even seen a dolphin riding a wave, but it is the most beautiful and spiritual thing I have ever seen. Right before the wave crashes, you catch a glimpse of the dolphin, full-bodied, inside of the wave moving forward.

I ran out, fully clothed, into the cold December waters of the Atlantic, to get as close as I possibly could to these creatures, thinking the whole time, "Why didn't I bring my camera?". I did however get video on my cell phone. At one point, a dolphin joined a building wave and the wave was coming right for me, dolphin encased as if he were coming to greet me. It was exhilarating.

On another occasion, most recently, I awoke before the crack of dawn to greet the sunrise on the beach and hopefully capture some good images.

Yes I brought my camera on this particular morning. I was the only person on the beach that morning. It was a bit spooky in a cool sense - to have something so massive as the ocean in front of you, and to stand there alone, in the breaking dawn.

As the dark-blueish black sky started to warm with hues of pinks and oranges, I started snapping away. Something in my view caught my attention so i lowered my camera to see what had to have been a dozen or more dolphins, lapping in and out of the waters. I was in total awe, I had never seen such a large gathering of dolphins. Some were very close to me near the shallow waters, some where further away. Of course I walked out into the waters to get as close as I could, realizing at that moment, that I had only brought my wide angle lens, and NOT my zoom.

Half of the sun had already made it's debut over the waters, revealing more dolphins. One dolphin, who was riding one wave into the next, seemed to stop and hover over a wave bank, facing me directly. The waves kept lapping this dolphin, but it remained still, facing straight at me. I lowered my camera, and stood still, facing it, wondering if the dolphin was checking me out...wondering what he would do next. It was a moment frozen in time, all of 20 seconds passed before the dolphin turned and swam away.

For centuries, dolphins have been thought of as "The Humans of the Sea", and their high intelligence levels have been documented by science. They have been written about as Gods or descendants of Gods in Greek Mythology and in other ancient cultures as protectors of man. There are accounts from this modern day, to centuries ago, of dolphins helping drowning swimmers, nudging them ashore, or surfers who would have been victims of shark attacks, had it not been for dolphins swarming the area and "butting" the would-be attacker.

They are the social, seemingly curious and highly intelligent beings of the sea. There is something majestic and magical about them. They notice us, we notice them, there is a connection.

Maybe that connection is lost while one is doing nothing but snapping away with their camera, trying to get the best shot of these gorgeous mammals of the sea. So I think to myself, maybe God just wants me to watch, to enjoy, to be part of the beauty and immerse myself in the magic that radiates from these magnificent creatures !

On the Search for Self

Have you ever reached a point in your life, whether in your teens, twenties, forties or sixties, where you thought "who am i?" I'm sure we all have. And some of us ponder that question more than others. Some will look outward to gain insight on the subject, some will delve inward, and some won't take any action at all.

Some dedicate their whole lives to finding out who they are and why there are here, what PURPOSE do they have. Honestly, I do not know anyone who has participated in this quest who ever stood up and said "OMG, I FINALLY FOUND MYSELF". Why? Because it rarely happens.

It was recently proposed to me by a very wise North Carolinian, (not in these exact words of course) that the search for one's self, is the actual destination. Let me elaborate...The question "who am I", is the awakening, and the search for self, becomes our destination because in our search for self, we are becoming enlightened. In this quest, we are constantly learning, and learning is never-ending, and I think getting to know ourselves, and who we are, is a never ending process of discoveries.

I don't think one can truly ever "find" themselves. But they can evolve through the search!

It makes sense to me. I like the concept.